Please, please, no more! We will find you a shrubbery.

Due to popular demand, I will update my blog with a new post, Don’t let it go to your head Allison, but yes, you are popular (and a trifle demanding). Also, the picture of a turkey neck at the top of my page was making me a little nauseous. If you really didn’t get my turkey neck story, just ask my wife.

Since some of you (like Allison) really liked to hear about the made up language we had in boarding school, I figured that I would teach you all a new word. One of my favorites was the word “shrub”. In RVA (Rift Valley Academy) lingo, a shrub is a verbal blunder. I have no idea how this word originated, but I can make an educated guess. It is entirely likely that someone was attempting to say a real word, but accidentally said “shrub” instead. It may have gone something like this…

“So, I was giving my girlfriend a back shrub when all of a sudden…”

In our RVA culture, we did not let each other forget our mistakes, particularly if they were funny. It is also entirely possible that the word originated when someone was trying to tell a story while walking back to the dorms (a very dangerous combination, I’m sure you all know). While all of his concentration was on telling the story instead of walking, he may have tripped on a low lying shrubbery, thus interrupting his story and causing him to cry out “shrub!”

A good example of a real life shrubbing was when our class president was talking to us all one night. He was discussing plans for an upcoming goat roast when he mistakenly said “ghost roat”. Everyone laughed uproariously at this, of course. About 70% of the men in the room called out “shrub!” at this point, just in case he may have not noticed his verbal blunder. Up until graduation, and even after we would constantly remind him “…ghost roat, that was a great shrub man”.

A good shrub was very rarely forgotten, and as I may tell you next time, shrubbing could easily lead to the creation of a new word. Until next time, Cherry Mristmas, and may all your shrubings be gay.